


Afterwards

by roguefaerie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: After a Horror, Aftermath of a Case, Between Episodes, Episode: s01e03 Dead in the Water, Episode: s01e18 Something Wicked, Fear, Gen, Hunters & Hunting, Missing Scene, Monster Hunters, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Season/Series 01, Selectively Mute Dean Winchester, Trauma, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28460139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguefaerie/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: After the Shtriga, Sam sees just how his brother is doing.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50
Collections: Holiday Horror 2020





	Afterwards

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChokolatteJedi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/gifts).



They were driving away from the Shtriga when Sam first noticed a familiar vibration through the bench seat that meant Dean was shaking.

Sam had been able to laugh some of it off, but he knew better than to assume that Dean could, not now.

He didn’t make any attempt to draw attention to Dean until they were safely pulling into the next motel parking lot, and then he reached over and touched Dean’s knee in a silent _I know_ , so that the slight quivering could be felt under his hand as well.

“Dean. Hey. I’ll go in and get the keys, okay?”

Dean nodded and didn’t say anything, but Sam wasn’t expecting him to. Not after all that. What could Dean possibly say? And maybe the more important question was--how?

Now that Dean had _told_ Sam about not wanting to talk right after their mom died, so many things had added up in Sam’s head about all of Dean’s quiet times that had come and gone.

Sam had grown to expect them, and knew without asking Dean directly that if Dean wasn’t in one now he was soon to be.

“Okay,” Sam said. And he got out of the car, casting one look back at Dean with an expression that just barely didn’t ask _Are you sure you don’t want to--?_ “I’ll...I’ll be right back.”

And Sam was, in and back out again in a flash.

“Got ‘em,” he said. “C’mon. Let’s get you inside.”

Dean all but rolled his eyes at Sam but still didn’t say anything, and when they were both on the outside of the Impala together Dean leaned into Sam wordlessly.

“It’s okay. Hey. We can-- When we get inside-- Uh, come on,” Sam said.

Dean got a hand around Sam’s lower arm and they went into their room with Sam carrying most of Dean’s weight.

And then Dean let himself hit the bed closest to the door with a thud.

“It’s gonna be okay, Dean,” Sam said. “Those kids? They’re all right.”

Dean shook his head and huffed out a sigh.

“But you’re not doing great,” Sam added. “Huh?”

Dean lowered his eyes.

“It’s okay, Dean. You just rest. I can go get you a burger. And I’ll look for pie, okay?”

Dean looked pale, and like food was the last thing on his mind, but he would need to eat.

“I know how hard that was--”

Dean put a hand up and shook his head again.

He had a beat up spiral memo pad in his pocket that he took out, and a pen in the other. Sam wondered how long he’d known he was going to end up losing his words for.

 _No you don’t. And it isn’t funny, Sam,_ Dean wrote, handing the paper over.

Sam sighed.

“I know I don’t _really_ know, Dean, but. Just.”

Dean tore another note off the paper. _Stay here with me for a while first_ , it said.

And Sam would. It was as simple as that. If this was what Dean needed, badly enough for him to ask for it directly--in writing no less--there was nothing else in this world for Sam to do.

If Dean was this upset, he might actually reject a piece of pie anyway, and that would only serve to break Sam’s heart in a different way than if he just stayed right here making sure Dean was all right.

“Okay,” Sam said. “I’ll be right here.”

It was true, but Sam didn’t stop himself from leaning back in his bed, the one closest to the wall, and slowly letting out a breath so that it wouldn’t seem like a sigh of exasperation or make Dean feel like he was asking too much of Sam. He wasn’t. Sam could do this. He _needed_ to do this.

“It’s okay, Dean. Just...when you’re ready, let me know when you have it in you to talk again, okay?”

So many _you never told me that_ s floated through Sam’s mind. And there would be more to come, he was sure of it. But something about this was reminding him of things he’d long forgotten--ways to be in the world with his brother when Dean couldn’t be all brag and bluster.

When things were quiet. The way they were now.

Sam could remember, more than he realized he had forgotten. And maybe that was all he needed right now.

To just be with Dean. Just the two of them, quietly being themselves.


End file.
